I Fell In Love

This was my first draft of a very unoriginal but uniquely me type poem... lets just see what you think...







I fell in love today; it was the first time in forever I felt happy
He is someone that I’ve know for years. I watched him grow into himself.
How he became into his own individuality, how he found his own style.

Today, with his curly nappy hair all the way down to his large shapely feet.
His arched back, and the way he walks through the halls. Proud of his masculine features. Completely aware of how they shape his face.

I’ve seen him grieve for someone he has lost, and hold those who simply are lost. I’ve felt the heat radiate from his body and permeate the skin of those close to him.

His eyes... lord I fell in love with those eyes. And his ears not because they seem to fit him perfectly, because they always would listen when nobody else would...

I fell in love this morning when his eyes were reflected... I fell in love with me.


Alright im think of a major expansion... and some more details
What do you think????

Strip Me...

I think the world is full of zanies and fools... but that what makes it the best place to be... the point of this late night post is that I’ve recently dove into Natasha Beddingfield album and just like most of her music it’s about coming into your own self and have a very unique self identify......
Especially her song Strip Me... it’s all about spending your life to surround yourself with things that you don’t need... and how you can take everything from a person but their identity that one thing in their heart that makes them uniquely yours will never leave them... "even if I’m only one voice in a million you aint taking that from me"... that’s a powerful and strong statement... I am only one voice in a million but that voice means more to me than alot of things in my life... So go ahead strip me down take it all because even though I don’t completely understand it yet... that thing that makes me completely and utterly me... my voice will always remain... I Wonder What Would Happen If People Realized That Being One Voice In A Million Matters???

Sometimes You Cant See Tears On The Silver Screen

Dear faithful blog readers (if there are any) it’s been about eight days since my last post... I think that deserves a complement, I’m officially getting better about this. Or it could just mean that this month has been and emotional rollercoaster and at the sake of burdening others with my problems I just write them here with the secret hope that people will read them... okay enough with the fake drama and to what’s really on my mind...

I’ve officially/unofficially done with this year all my major stuff is out of the way so today on this most scared study day, I went on a little movie binge. One sappy gay movie that was set in the 80's... one amazingly tragic independent film... and finally a mixture of the two... One of them saw the world through rose colored glasses, very minor... very high school... the second choose only really to show the pain and anguish that people my age have to go through you know the worst case senior type stuff... And the thing is that I’m a huge fan of indie movies especially ones that are true to life... sometimes you don’t want to be lied to and sometimes you really just wanna see how hard the worlds going to be and watch people struggle through it and find joy in the small things. Because to tell you the true the small things is really all we have sometimes. A phone call, a favorite song, that last cigarette that keeps you from kill you entire class. The small things... but today I think I think I found a movie that was a pretty perfect middle ground... and let me preface the next several statement by saying I’m tired and run down because of this week, so you can’t hold me accountable for this later...


Anyway I watched the movie Latter Days and it really was pretty amazing it had the happy go lucky element to it but most of all it showed that even after all the shit we go through in life, after we moved on from all the pain and heart break that sometimes good things do come back in to our lives. I’m mean it’s still very naive to wish for a happy ending and do nothing to make it a reality. That just doesn’t happen, but I think that someday when you take a breath and think you realize that this may have to be your happy ending if only for a little while.... Raise Your Fucking Glass and toast to today and whatever was a part of it that made you happy, because tomorrow may never come... And I’m not saying that things don’t Get Better... because they do but to get to tomorrow you still got to find something happy in today.... Do I Live A Chapter Of My Fairytale Everyday

Waiting To Exhale...

I know this seems to be a reoccurring theme on this blog but at this point in my life I’m really just waiting to exhale release myself for worries from the fear of being out in this world alone... (dramatic I know)... I’m starting to trust people within things and part of my inner self that others have only guessed were there... I’m really ready to have for lack a of better phrase a Winehouse moment, something she would only be able to sing about...
..... The thing is I thought that I found that person and I couldn’t even say their name without smiling simply cause this person just made me happy... and to tell the truth there is nothing wrong with my life but this person made me feel something that I haven’t felt in such a longtime happy truly and I haven’t felt that way in I can’t really remember how long.... The problem is that I got all worked up and went to this person’s house only to be confronted with a dark house and driveway... I was standing in the cold like a damn fool waiting for this person to answer the phone, the door, a text... the Mad Black woman came out and I was like you have exactly 30 seconds to answer the door or I’m leaving... so left and stepped away pissed like you've never seen before... I get several phone calls and one conversation later apologies and promises... but the thing is a man can’t live on promises alone, but the hopeless romantic in me tells me they will come through and make my dreams come true... the realist in me is about to move on to the next one... Why Do We Really Think People Can Change???

Its Christmas... But Not Really

So well its Christmas time in the city and well across the world (???), but the truth of the matter is that it’s not really that time of the year yet... we just finished Thanksgiving and the thing is that people... at least from my perspective are not ready for the Christmas season...
.... If you leave out the planning for family and friends and the large ridiculous amount of retail consumerism that people seem like they have to complete before this season comes... and you remove the lights and decorations all over 5th Ave... I think that people aren’t in the mood or mindset yet for Christmas... the giving the extra amounts of politeness that people seem to share during this season... I just don’t know where it is this year. Cause I really miss it and granted its only the first week in December, but people are already decorating and buying gifts so hopefully the spirit is right around the corner... please please please let it be.............. In Our World Is It Possible For Christmas To Come Without Ribbons Or Bows???