Take Another Little Piece of My Heart...

It been a long time since I’ve written on this and a lot has happened both good and bad to me. So this is just the most recent of a few retro posts that I’m going to be needing to write... This came to my mind recently about how I feel pretty torn apart over the recent events in our country and my whole personal life...Each thing seems to be taking a piece of my heart with it...

.... The first and seemingly most pressing thing is the sudden loss of life within the community. People cross our country seem to have reached their breaking point and can’t seem to stand the life they are within. The thing that really hurts my heart is that it’s something that people could address and change. People are dying because they are gay and feel that no one in the world understand or cares for the person they are... and what makes this even worst is that the people dying are babies... teenagers barely coming into their own self identities... I want to change their minds I want them to listen to what I have to say because just like my favorite Radio personality use to say "If no one told you they love you today... you better believe I do".....
........ The second piece of me that I feel is slipping away from me is that... well I'm getting so ready to be selfish in my life. I think that I try extremely hard to make sure that the people around me are happy, that I forget my own needs. And even to the point where I will significantly hinder my own happiness for someone else... I like doing things for other people but I think at this level in my life I need some kind of reciprocity or I’m going to drive myself into the ground... I mean I’m always going to be there for you a phone call, text, or email away from helping you but I don’t know I can shell out the money anymore to support what you need until I can get myself back to a stable position.. Because without even being selfish if I fall apart I won’t be a help to any of my friends... And I think without some kind of selfishness I think I might loss my true friends and develop toxic relationships with leeches...
...... The final thing pulling at my heart is my writing... I legitimately think that I’m ready to start writing again... things keep coming to me in class, on busses and trains, and at work I think it’s time to put pen to paper and tell another story. I've even seriously considered starting a Tumblr just for my writing... If I do you guys will be the first people to know... Like I said before this is the first of many post about the last couple of weeks things have been crazy... emotionally, financially, and maybe on some deeper level spiritual... Why Is It That You Never Question Your Heart's Strength Until You Need It The Most?