Overload & BREAKDOWN

Have you ever felt that the world which you constructed for yourself was not the one that you wanted... That your world is kinda of a big compromise for the reality you live in... Its enough to bring a brother to tears and please dont get me wrong things in my life has consistently fallen apart and rebuild itself into something bigger and better, but damn is what im doing really what i want to do for the rest of my life. I can deal with monotony but only for so long i need to do something that when i get up in the morning ill be happy and ecstatic to go do...

... the real problem is that what i want to do might be alitte unrealistic.. you see my entire life people have told me that i was talented but then the people who matter as in judges and auditions panels just dont seem to share the same idea. Im guessing this last audition really kinda took me for more of loop than i thought it did.... the funny part is that as a write this "Thank You" by Mary Mary just came on my ipod shuffle i guess the universe is trying to tell me something...
.... Whatever im here to be Stronger and take each day as an adventure... Why Cant People (Myself Included) Make Life Soo Much Simpler???...

When The Past Comes Back To You...

Okay so this is going to be intentionally vague and very very confusing but i think, you the reader if there are any readers will understand the meaning behind this... Recently after a long and crazy night of parting around the city i return home to take care of a black out drunk sophomore in my house...hahaha ridic... anyway once we get him and his sober roommate successfully in a cab. I decide to chill out and send some late night luv via texts...
... And without the intention of getting any responses i ready myself to chill out and sleep. The phone starts to ring and its someone we will refer to only as "Sweetheart." Anyway Sweetheart was someone that i chilled with and a few occasions tried to be very intimate with but the timing never seemed to work out right. So Sweetheart calls me and we talk for at least 30 mins about what happened between us and why things never worked out, which i know was not because of lack of mutual feeling. Anyway we planned things out and lets just say this fall has alot more potential now... Im not looking for love with Sweetheart just some mutual attraction and some physical intimacy, which is just a fancy way of say hot passionate sex...
...Im Happy things worked out between us, but its just crazy like i really needed another person to dive into my life and shake this up alittle... Even if we really want to move on...Will our past always define our future???

Same Old Same

Today was alot like yesterday same old same... work was amazingly interesting though... there are a bunch of new graduate students who are now seeing clients for the first time and the only comparable example i can give to you is its like first grade students starting a new school year... they are slowly picking up the rules testing the waters to see what they can and can not do... and getting scolded by teachers ( well in a matter of speaking )
But there was this one guy that almost let a client leave with so confidential information and the following scenes was almost as if it were out of a movie... one of the staff screamed "no" his face dropped and he said "no" and then ran after the client to retrieve the paper work.... But his faced was so cute and sweet... it laked like a little kids... it was almost like you wanted to hold him after and be like its okay you'll get it right next time...
... On another random note a friend of mine told me that i should come see them for therapy... nothing official just talking in the counseling center off my school. I dont know if they just wanted me to come because the more people there the better there funding would look for the next year or if because she is like a 4th year grad student in this field she sees something that i dont... I never thought that therapy would really work for me i can vent my problems to my friends and if i need a third opinion i always have somebody... I also could really never tell her about any problems that i think i have because... its always been easier to tell you stories to complete strangers... Why is it we hide from our friends???

Little Monsters

Hey world im back its a new year... i feel like i havent changed that much just my ideals and goals have been expanded just that much more... But the topic of today is Little Monsters of my life. People as usual have begun to piss me off again... especially over this whole Lady Gaga thing... this girl comes out with nothing little of an explosion and people were falling at her feet...
... now everyone and their respective mothers have begun to turn against her and say that she is crazy, her music is sub par, and that she has no point in this world. I guess bandwagons come like buses you miss one next fifteen another ones coming. Give me a break if you like someone delve into the person they are and what they stand for and if you like them fine, but don't just go around spewing nonsensical hate because you think its the cool thing to do this week... And actually on that same token why do you feel the need to emerse yourself so far into someones elses life that you loose you own identity. At least for Gaga its about being yourself not like everyone else even her... Please be yourself and you'll never be out of style...so to speak :)