Occupy Your Time

Sooo here is what’s been going on... I feel like if I don’t tell someone I might go crazy. I have for the first time in my life been swamped at school and I’m working a part-time job, attempting to have a social life, and still trying to find time to walk around aimless and preserve my sanity and soul. That is a lofty way of saying that I’m stressed and a little lost right now in my life. I for the most part am just doing school and it seems like the more I try to get ahead the more I’m falling behind. I’m trying to take time and do work to get ahead, but the more time I spend time doing work the more tired I feel it’s like nothing is being accomplished. 

And yes I know that this is all a part of life and growing up (Insert some random saying about the struggles in life make it worth living). I actually had a friend today stop and say that they felt sorry for me because they had never seen me this stressed out about school...smh. Ontop of that money is tight but that nothing new it seems to be the rule not the exception in my life, so I’m not too worried I always seem to find away when I really need to :) The next thing that seems to build off of all this confusion is that I graduate next year and there are hundreds of things that I would like to do with my life and all of the revolve around me moving to NYC and I really don’t think that going to happen right away. I don’t want to be trapped anywhere other than here soo maybe (let me rephrase that maybe to a definitely) 

I’m going to figure out a way to move up here. My next issue kind of falls back to this summer and the SadnessinWaves post from earlier this year. I feel like I’m all talked out about the topic and that there is nothing that I can do to foster my mind growing past this event in my life. It just feels like time is the only thing that will help me move on, but time takes soo long to pass when you really want it to and in the time between point A and B I’m just incredibly sad. And I’m not saying I’ve dawned mascara, black eyeliner, and I’m only wearing black... cause I haven’t I’m just as cheery as ever and I have fun when its available. So I don’t know if sadness is the right word but this weight just needs to leave me. I actually woke up sobbing the other night, and I mean like deep breathes crying for no reason. It’s like something I must have buried is trying to come up. The thing is shit like this doesn’t happen to me.... IDK...

                                                                        ... But let’s get back to the put of this post occupying your time. I have spent a lot of time on sadness, and almost more on work. But I’ve also found some really cool things to occupy my time with art, music, poetry (Check Out A New One... It’s Sad Just A Heads Up), and trying to stay politically up to date. But I’ve done some cool things and some very "old" (By old I mean this summer) has been keeping me going. If you have already please check out Frank Ocean, Dionne Bromfield, Feist New Album... And this cube in Brooklyn...

But Hopefully I Occupied Your Time Some... Was It Worth It :)