There Will Be Tears

I wanna cry

Sometime I just wanna sit in and cry

Rocking so that I can feel these things deep down inside.

Darkness

I wanna cry

Because I can’t burden you with these things that are burdening me

I wanna cry

Because these walls were built without my consent

To contain things that I didn’t want hide deep inside.

I wanna break these windows and shatter these walls

And feel pain so that you know I am hurting.

I wanna cry

Because the grass always looks greener on the other side but when you get there

Its acid yellow and burned to the ground.

I wanna cry

Because I wanna see his fucking face again

And hold him and let him know everything is alright

Because I am disconnected from the people who disconnected me from the disconnected world

I wanna cry

So that you can see these tears, why can’t you see these tears on my dry skin?

Why can you look and see these oceans welling in my eyes.

Comments Will Be Greatly Appreciated (And Bare In Mind Its A Rough Draft)... 

Occupy Your Time

Sooo here is what’s been going on... I feel like if I don’t tell someone I might go crazy. I have for the first time in my life been swamped at school and I’m working a part-time job, attempting to have a social life, and still trying to find time to walk around aimless and preserve my sanity and soul. That is a lofty way of saying that I’m stressed and a little lost right now in my life. I for the most part am just doing school and it seems like the more I try to get ahead the more I’m falling behind. I’m trying to take time and do work to get ahead, but the more time I spend time doing work the more tired I feel it’s like nothing is being accomplished. 

And yes I know that this is all a part of life and growing up (Insert some random saying about the struggles in life make it worth living). I actually had a friend today stop and say that they felt sorry for me because they had never seen me this stressed out about school...smh. Ontop of that money is tight but that nothing new it seems to be the rule not the exception in my life, so I’m not too worried I always seem to find away when I really need to :) The next thing that seems to build off of all this confusion is that I graduate next year and there are hundreds of things that I would like to do with my life and all of the revolve around me moving to NYC and I really don’t think that going to happen right away. I don’t want to be trapped anywhere other than here soo maybe (let me rephrase that maybe to a definitely) 

I’m going to figure out a way to move up here. My next issue kind of falls back to this summer and the SadnessinWaves post from earlier this year. I feel like I’m all talked out about the topic and that there is nothing that I can do to foster my mind growing past this event in my life. It just feels like time is the only thing that will help me move on, but time takes soo long to pass when you really want it to and in the time between point A and B I’m just incredibly sad. And I’m not saying I’ve dawned mascara, black eyeliner, and I’m only wearing black... cause I haven’t I’m just as cheery as ever and I have fun when its available. So I don’t know if sadness is the right word but this weight just needs to leave me. I actually woke up sobbing the other night, and I mean like deep breathes crying for no reason. It’s like something I must have buried is trying to come up. The thing is shit like this doesn’t happen to me.... IDK...

Occupy: Wall Street / DC

So this is a long time coming and ive done a lot of thinking about my position and the statement i wanna make about this occupy movement. This "fad" of occupy came around with the advent of several European countries using the occupation of public spaces to push change in their countries. The most influential movement could be the Occupancy movement  that resulted in the Revolution that occurred in Cairo, which resulted in the leader stepping down from power. This movement in the states is attempting to model themselves after these movement by occupying public spaces, to push for a radical, or should i just say some, change within our government. Our movement revolves around the way our government favors financial institutions. This movement has be active for several weeks now within NYC and has spread to various cities across the country.

With that being said let me start with the good that this movement has done. First this movement has mobilized thousands of people across the country to issues that a normal citizen might not be aware of in their busy day-to-day life. It once it began to receive media attention sparked a realization that the way we have been practicing business isn’t sustainable and is creating strife for the largest portions of the population. And finally it has begun to, with the media attention, draw larger more influential groups to attempt to make change in our financial institutions. (I.e. Unions, Politicians, Lobbyist Groups). The negative is that a lot of the progress that has been made in this short time isn’t a result of the people who are protesting. They had no clear demands at first and presented as a few unorganized force. They have begun to attract and allow people to support them whose goals have mostly nothing to do with the cause they are fighting for, but intern would like the media attention. They also have lost in a large number of ways creditability, and yes if you interview people there is a large possibility the person speaking doesn’t accurately represent the people in question. But with this movement it seems like the large majority has no clue what is going on and have become lost in  the act of "committing and action" (protesting) and not working towards the goal that is in place. 

Also in kind of a side note the people, are in a way complaining that they have lost control of these financial institutions (which I do believe need to be reign in and control Laissez-Faire style capitalism has brought nothing but problems in the last few years, and truthfully is not a good idea.) but they are now allowing others politicians to control the outcome of this movement, no organized message has been present on how to fix the issue most of the people just want it fixed. This mind set got us into the problems we are in now. 

But in the long run this movement is a good thing it has brought to light and foster discussion on a topic that needed to be addressed and changed, I just hope that the thousands of people who are participating in this movement now will also write letters, vote, and pressure our political systems to change instead of just hoping that somebody will fix it. Though the other day one of my best friends "B" said that I had some great points, but at the end of the day there are thousands of people marching in the streets and that has to stand for something. I believe he is right and I hope change for the better is on its way....

How Did We Let Things Get This Far, And Shouldn’t We As Citizens Take Some Of The Blame????

P.S.

The behavior of the NYPD has been crazy and extremely unprefessional updates to follows.

Occupy Your Mind

This is just a precursor to the next string of post that I’m writing... (I promise that i'll have two done before the weekend is over). I honor or mostly to have commentary on the occupy Wall Street movement that is currently happening in NYC (with subsequent movement in places like DC) I am creating an "Occupy Your Mind" series on my blog. Some of it will be about me; some of it will be about music, the political situation, what I have that's occupying my mind. Sooo I hope to hear from you guys soon... And What Do We Really Have Occupying Our Mind???