Woof.........

Lets just say that i have a new job...... and it takes me exotic places like Manhattan, and Brooklyn.....and way life has slowly started to come together and fall apart all at the same time......
.....It like you plug one hole and three pop up but look at it this way soon im going to Dam the whole river so im not going to have anything to worry about in the long run.....who knows????

All i really understand is that i have today and the soon im going to have to start preparing for tomorrow so lets do this...........

Have You Ever???

Sorry guys i know its been a really long time and i have really wanted to write on this blog, but time just never seems to be on my side in more ways than one but whatever...............
This has been whats going on... I had a small mental break a few days ago and to tell you the truth i dont know what brought it on, but it just got me thinking about the last two years and how scared i am that i have become something that im not... All my life i wanted to be different like i think it would keep me up at night. I would try not to like the same people as everybody else i wanted to be purple when everyone was wearing green...
...Please i failed and eye test on purpose so that i could get glasses because just about everybody else in my class had started to get them and i thought it would be cool to have them too...IDK... Then two years ago i got this chance to be different i found my outlet it made me into something that most people couldnt even imagine, it made me apart of a community that was persecuted,loved,misunderstood, but uniquely itself at all times. I loved it i had finally done it and after alittle apprehension i fully embraced and back more like it..in every faucet of my life...
...but on this day i began to think what if the person that i am now is nothing ore than a creation of what i wanted everybody to think i was and not truly who i am.?????...
...So do i really have value am i a person or the elaborately creations of an artist to fit his own need to be a part of society...... I really dont know and i dont think i ever will so ill just live the one i have and see if the build up has a huge fall...........

So You Like Giving Head?????

I was simply going about my business and looking for a book for school when i decided to stop in the Sprint store...my phone had been acting glitchy and just weird so.......... I give the guy my phone and we start a conversation and go on talking about school and where im from and general stuff like where i go to hang out.... When all of a sudden he ask me about sex and i dont think twice about it im, like im up for anything....Then he ask me if i like to give head and motions toward the back room.......................
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So like a good little boy i followed into the back room removed my coat and got on my knees... i preceded to give him the best head of his life and him begging for me to let him climax... then i got a credit added to my account and left the store...
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....................... Now that were back in reality i really gave him a look from hell and preceded to explain to him that im not some average whore for of the corner and walked out the store and went to my next class( Events have been dramatized for effect ).... Anyway life is weird and do i really look that gay??????

Now Lets Talk About Friends

Lets talk about friends because in my opinion i don't have very many yeah i know alot of people but i really don't have many friends...... They come few and far between........I talking about people who call you and ask if the world is not falling apart i your time zones.....friends who at the drop of a dime would do anything within their fucking power to make your life better.......People who give a damn about you enough to do more than send you a facebook message......The people who if you don't talk to them in a week will call you ass to make sure your not dead because they know something must be wrong,................and I'm no hypocrite because i fall on both sides of this border line but the people i care about know it and would never think twice about it if i was truly there for them or not.................People who if i call them at 3 am don't fucking ask why are you calling me so late but what fucking took you so long are you okay............you see i dont have many of those type of people..........................And at the deepest core of my being i wish some of my acquaintances would be this way towards me...........because when i fall.... i fall hard and my heart will truly always be with you whether you realize it or not because one of the hardest things in the world is to realize that you arent cared about the way you care....................who is going to be there to CONSOLE THE COUNSELOR.................any answers to that shit ...............i didn't think so.......This Is My Two Weeks Notice...Im Out...

Fuck..........

I fucking hate the world that we are living in its a fucking repulsive and disgusting mess of people and things we just refer to as people. The entire world cries for change they dig deep down into there pockets and shell out change at every fucking chance they get..... well if people reached into there hearts instead of their wallets things might get better people might actually be the change they want to see in the world.... but they fucking don't.... Money money money runs every fucking thing we do and if you don't have it your shit out of luck.............and fuck you the people that say i have empathy for people who don't have it... fuck you unless you've left school and had to call your mom and ask her where to go because you didn't have a home to go back to.... then fucking come and talk to me......
.................And I'm not saying rich people are evil they were born into it or they got lucky and work for it.............but open your pretty fucking eyes and see that the world extends farther than your front lawn no matter how fucking big it may be................I just fucking wish the world would allow people to work and pay things off and allow them a realistic time period in which to make their living because this money now shit has lost its flare.............

All I Want For Christmas Is For You To Pick Up The Phone....

Lets Just Say He Got His Wish..... And It was truly amazing.....

RoofTops....

The stars were amazing and the night was freezing but it was one of the best things that ever could have happened to me.... I was back in New York and i was finally making my return trip to the far off and way and land of the Bronx.....
...I got to hang out with one of my favorite people from back home and chill at his place all we did was bar hop and chill with some friends but it wasnt til seriously late that we went onto the roof and watched the stars as we got lifted from the roof into the stars that we watched from it... we found ourselves just being and feeling amazing with just being....

..........We finally crashed but only after a seriously crazy and ghetto trip to the deli.. were for some reason they didnt even know what horseradish was... but whatever it was all cool in the end...