I was told a few weeks ago that I wasn't the same person that they remember being around last time that I saw them… wow I can believe that they could be soo perceptive. Yes Ive changed… I'm no the sweet person that I used to be at least not in the way that that person thinks. Ive become an optimistic realist. Yes I want to fuck someone in DC without the hopes of building a relationship…. Due to the fact that I live in NYC.... the world is not a fairy tale. I don’t think that that makes me a different person. I will still love and treat that person with all the human dignity that they deserve but why would I strain their lives when its not necessary.
I still dream of someone to hold me and just sit in our own aura…while the world just continues to move around us… but that’s has not happened and it just seems like the world doesn't want it for me right now… soo I don’t see the problem with a little causal sex….
IDK the world is still an adventure to me and I'm still dreaming of seeing someone with a smile and dating and loving someone but searching for a diamond in the rough lead people to go insane in our history… I need my sanity… I need to make it…
Saturday, April 24, 2010
I'm Back Bitches… Oh Fuck You Too
Summer is creeping around the corner and im ready to write again its been coming to me all the time thoughts, feelings, and rants…. The next series of post tell the spring will be raw unedited stream of conscientiousness type of writing starting with this one.
Ahh fuck the world… I'm soo ready to just run away to some European country and work as a waiter. This whole deal of society and knowing people to work is just tiring on my soul. Im soo sick of wishing for my fairy tale and being constantly let down. But the realist in me knows that this is almost my fairy tale im living on my own starving and going out into fucking NYC to get coffee and lunch. Ive dropped everyone who is fake in my life and learned how to take or leave people as they come. Im so tired of sending emails and dialing number Ive paided my dues and deep down inside… I just want someone to call me. If im such a great person… if you luv me soo much why the hell haven’t I heard from you in 2 years… some people luv goes without saying but other. Really my number hasn't changed and never in our relationship did I act like I would’t appreciate a phone call or a fucking facebook message… IDK…. I don’t want to end up like a Sondheim musical… its hard to be an optimist in this world especially when I never seem to evolve past somebodies friend.
Ahh fuck the world… I'm soo ready to just run away to some European country and work as a waiter. This whole deal of society and knowing people to work is just tiring on my soul. Im soo sick of wishing for my fairy tale and being constantly let down. But the realist in me knows that this is almost my fairy tale im living on my own starving and going out into fucking NYC to get coffee and lunch. Ive dropped everyone who is fake in my life and learned how to take or leave people as they come. Im so tired of sending emails and dialing number Ive paided my dues and deep down inside… I just want someone to call me. If im such a great person… if you luv me soo much why the hell haven’t I heard from you in 2 years… some people luv goes without saying but other. Really my number hasn't changed and never in our relationship did I act like I would’t appreciate a phone call or a fucking facebook message… IDK…. I don’t want to end up like a Sondheim musical… its hard to be an optimist in this world especially when I never seem to evolve past somebodies friend.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)