Lets just say that i have a new job...... and it takes me exotic places like Manhattan, and Brooklyn.....and way life has slowly started to come together and fall apart all at the same time......
.....It like you plug one hole and three pop up but look at it this way soon im going to Dam the whole river so im not going to have anything to worry about in the long run.....who knows????
All i really understand is that i have today and the soon im going to have to start preparing for tomorrow so lets do this...........
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Have You Ever???
Sorry guys i know its been a really long time and i have really wanted to write on this blog, but time just never seems to be on my side in more ways than one but whatever...............
This has been whats going on... I had a small mental break a few days ago and to tell you the truth i dont know what brought it on, but it just got me thinking about the last two years and how scared i am that i have become something that im not... All my life i wanted to be different like i think it would keep me up at night. I would try not to like the same people as everybody else i wanted to be purple when everyone was wearing green...
...Please i failed and eye test on purpose so that i could get glasses because just about everybody else in my class had started to get them and i thought it would be cool to have them too...IDK... Then two years ago i got this chance to be different i found my outlet it made me into something that most people couldnt even imagine, it made me apart of a community that was persecuted,loved,misunderstood, but uniquely itself at all times. I loved it i had finally done it and after alittle apprehension i fully embraced and back more like it..in every faucet of my life...
...but on this day i began to think what if the person that i am now is nothing ore than a creation of what i wanted everybody to think i was and not truly who i am.?????...
...So do i really have value am i a person or the elaborately creations of an artist to fit his own need to be a part of society...... I really dont know and i dont think i ever will so ill just live the one i have and see if the build up has a huge fall...........
This has been whats going on... I had a small mental break a few days ago and to tell you the truth i dont know what brought it on, but it just got me thinking about the last two years and how scared i am that i have become something that im not... All my life i wanted to be different like i think it would keep me up at night. I would try not to like the same people as everybody else i wanted to be purple when everyone was wearing green...
...Please i failed and eye test on purpose so that i could get glasses because just about everybody else in my class had started to get them and i thought it would be cool to have them too...IDK... Then two years ago i got this chance to be different i found my outlet it made me into something that most people couldnt even imagine, it made me apart of a community that was persecuted,loved,misunderstood, but uniquely itself at all times. I loved it i had finally done it and after alittle apprehension i fully embraced and back more like it..in every faucet of my life...
...but on this day i began to think what if the person that i am now is nothing ore than a creation of what i wanted everybody to think i was and not truly who i am.?????...
...So do i really have value am i a person or the elaborately creations of an artist to fit his own need to be a part of society...... I really dont know and i dont think i ever will so ill just live the one i have and see if the build up has a huge fall...........
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